A letter to myself: Reflecting on my 2019

It’s that time of year. It’s pretty crispy outside, colourful lights are starting to twinkle, Christmas is getting rammed down our throats in that typical CONSUME and SPEND trap that we fall into every single year. I’m a celeb is nearly finished and the Coca-Cola ad has landed, Christmas plans are being made and I’m already dreaming about my roast and picturing NYE scenes. While it’s fun to get into the holiday spirit, I’m sure I’m not the only person who feels a bit melancholic knowing that 2019 is almost over, and the decade is coming to an end. Towards Christmas and New Year’s Eve, everyone has moments of reflection on their year and I’m definitely thinking about the ups and downs that 2019 has encapsulated for me. If I could go back to the first of January 2019, what would I tell myself?

To Sophia,

2019 is going to be weird. You’re going to have so many up and downs, and you’re going to learn so much about yourself.

You’re going to have the best 7 months left of your placement. You’re going to make so many new connections, friendships and walk away with some best friends. You’ll be enjoying some great projects that might feel overwhelming but you’re going to smash it. You will eventually learn to stop worrying about things and you will will grow so much in confidence and self belief.

You’re going to travel to the hottest place you’ve ever experienced and you are going to relax and turn into a puddle of sweat in Cyprus. You’re going to learn that you much prefer adult only hotels but you still have a lovely time relaxing, eating and exploring the culture. Sadly you have to spend a lot of time in a wheel chair on the holiday, but it’s fine because you’re able to tan your arms.

You’re going to be neglecting the blog. You’re going to have ideas but not have the motivation to write anything. Don’t worry you will still be productive, it is hard working 9 till 5, coming home to complete uni assignments and then fitting self care and socialising into your life! Don’t feel guilty.

Life with Charcot Marie Tooth is going to get a bit worse this year. You’re going to feel much weaker in your hands but you’ll keep going and not let it be a focus in your world.

There are going to be some changes to the people in your life and you’re going to feel disappointed and hurt. You learn that being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. You’re going to gain motivation and realise your goals. You’re going to become your own best friend. You’re going to listen to A LOT of Lizzo.

You’re going to go back to uni with an entirely new set of people. This is scary BUT you end up meeting some great new pals and really enjoy learning in an academic environment again (nerd) Although you do make the mistake of opting to do a dissertation (if only I had a time machine).

You’re going to be super proud of your big sister and even get emotional watching her put her cap and gown on at her graduation.

Overall you’re going to learn about yourself this year more than you ever have before. It’s going to be a bumpy ride but you are resilient and can roll with the punches and fly with the good times. You’re entering 2020 with a fresh start, today you sent off an application to start to learn to drive and at the weekend you will be socialising with some of your favourite people. You’re ending 2019 on a high and you should be proud of yourself.

Love Sophia

So bring on the roaring twenties (and my roaring twenties) let’s see what 2020 has in store for us all. I’m excited to see what life will bring and how I will develop and become the best version of me.

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